Love is supreme

Well, hopefully this is my own private journal of my musings - I can record the flow of thoughts as they happen. These days the mind has been on this hugely powerful, mysterious and beautiful thing called love. It is probably difficult to convey through words, more of a realization. That you are with this person you love and the world and time ceases to exist, that there is no fear. Death is the ultimate test of love and usually loses, not in terms of taking life but destroying love itself. That one prefers death to separation from the loved one. That one wilts in pain and suffering on separation, food loses taste, sleep doesn't come, that a part of your soul has been separated from you. How does it happen ? Ordinary frail, innocent people reaching a state that even Gods dream of but are unable to achieve. For it is not of valour, or power, or knowledge - these three are still of the I, love is beyond I - Nistraigunyai Shivaya Namaha - is that what this phrase means in Siva Mahimnaha stotra ? You are immersed in the bliss of love or the pain of deprivation of love, there is no thought for the I - therefore love is of necessity beyond I. How many people can say they have conquered I ? Love frees you from I, consequently you are free from all dualities, because the I is the source of all dualities. For love, the body does not exist or matter. It doesn't hate or desire anyone.
The most supreme love is the love between and Lord Shiva and Mother Parvati. The couple that is intensely in love with each must be a fragment broken off from this Supreme Couple. Love is the supreme goal. Forgive me Lord if I write this so poorly. Even the Lord of Lords must have cried when Sati burned herself up, even if knew that it was inevitable, even if he was the master of detachment. First the mad anger in which all of Daksha and his Yagna were utterly destroyed - but it doesn't bring back Sati. And then alone atop the cold peaks of Himalaya - no Sati, the joy and light of the entire universe gone. Hot tears of anger and grief streaming down, slowly over thousands of years it turns to an uneasy meditation going deeper and deeper inward, the whole universe enveloped in a cold, lonely envelope.

The selfish motive behind philanthropy

I don't know if the selfish justification for so-called good actions (like love thy enemy) is such a good idea. Maybe it will motivate me - that goodness is economically and logically sound in the long run. Lets say we run a school for the poor providing free education to them - long term we will have the goodwill of these poor people and their parents and community and we will get politically powerful in the long run. If that motivates me to open a school for poor is that good ?

Ego - I versus the rest of the Universe

This is a tricky one, I got tread carefully on this one, because sometimes I get this intense clarity and vision of I and sometimes I get fooled. Wanting a certain result and not wanting some other result is ego driven - its because the I thinks that the result it wants is good for itself - although the I never has perfect information.
Seen in young people a lot - they want to be right, they may not have all the required skills but are desparate to be considered as competent and skillful, would fool themselves into believing that they are actually skillful and their parents or teachers are holding them back because they are biased or jealous. Such people get manipulated easily by praise.
Taking pleasure in others misery, my gut-feel is that is a mix of ego and loser behavior. I is most prominently visible during pleasure. Laughing at others, putting them down - these are all ego driven actions, where the I wants to feel skillful, useful and is relieved that somebody is worse off than itself - ha ! see I am better than you.
The I is so tiny and the rest of the Universe so big that attempts by I to take pride in its achievements seems quite pathetic.